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Sunday, May 25, 2008

Me Head still hurts and my heart is sore...

For such a long time my heart ached from a year in another world... everything i heard made me think of it and everything that made me think of it made my heart hurt even more. And then there was a connection with that thing and such a strong memory with everything. That feeling of connection though has slowly started to fade. It's there sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I hated that feeling when it lived with me. I truly just wanted to be better. Sometimes though I just wish I could have that connection, and I do sometimes, like I said. I still miss it, and it still sucks from time to time. I try to remember who I was and what it was that made me who I was. I went to the Mall yesterday with a friend and we were trying on perfumes at the perfume counter and I sprayed some Chanel on my wrist and it smelled like Mexico. It was what my host mother wore and it smelled like the memory of that year. Like several other exchangers I often wonder if it's just me that feels like they'll never be ok

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