I've always been going somewhere or doing something. I've always had some grand adventure but now... now I feel like I'm just standing still. It's ok sometimes, like when I'm looking over the table at someone and know that if they go away, it's not because I'm leaving. But then there's the other times when I have nothing to do all day simply because there's nothing to do. My head says stay here, my heat says do something adventurous. so which one do I listen to? I'm growing here, and I'm realizing that more and more all the time. It's kind of scary. I look in the mirror these days and wonder if this is what I'll look like in three years. Is this what the grown up me will look like? Is this the grown up me? My thoughts are more mature, I still fly on a whim but I take more things into thought before I do something.
All the while however i listen to the song "better as a memory" and can't helped but be scared out of my mind. not so much the chorus but... "I move on like a sinner’s prayer I Let it go like a levee breaks Walk away as if I don’t care Learn to shoulder my mistakes. I’m Built to fade like your favorite song Getting reckless when there’s no need. Laugh as your stories ramble on Break my heart, but it won’t bleed My only friends are pirates, it’s just who I am... Never sure when the truth won’t do I’m pretty good on a lonely night I move on the way a storm blows through I never stayed, but then again I might. I struggle sometimes to find the words I’m always sure until I doubt I walk a line until it blurs Built walls too high to climb out. But I’m honest to a fault, it’s just who I am" So there you go