Sunday, November 4, 2007

A little bit from way back when...

He insisted on me letting him take me home, or at least ride with me in the Taxi. I shouldn’t do this. I mean yes he’s sweet and sure tonight has been nice but after I go home he’ll be gone, back into the city. He’ll disappear just like all the rest. It’s funny that in a city so small people go disappearing so easily. I’ll never see him again after tonight and maybe that’s just as well.
“Lee, let me take you home.” He was holding my hand and looking at me. I knew he didn’t want to literally take me home, but to just go with me when I go home.
“I can’t…” I hesitated, maybe he’d pay for the taxi and then I wouldn’t have to. That’s 12 pesos I could save. “It’s the rules.” I said simply. The rules were always my excuse for things. The reason I wouldn’t go home with guys. Well there were more reasons that just the rules but that was the excuse.
“Let me take you home.” I looked at him for a minute. If I made him sit behind the drivers seat so that I could get out if I had to… and he would pay for the taxi. I hope he doesn’t think he can stay at my house.
“Okay, fine. But before we leave, let me give you my number.” I watched as he grabbed a pin from the passing waiter and scribbled my number down on the napkin at the bar. “Lets go.” I said standing up off the bar stool and walking towards the door. I waited for him to catch up to me.
Grabbing his hand I leaned against him as the two of us walked down the stairs. It felt weird to be leaving with someone like this, I mean this is something that Fernanda or Carol might do, but not me. It’s nice though, maybe he cares, and maybe he will call me. Yeah and maybe I’ve only kissed two boys, which is not the case. He won’t call.
I stumbled down the cobble stone stairs in my stiletto shoes, scanning the street for a taxi. Then sticking my arm out I waved one down.
Oscar came up behind me and tried to get me to go in before him. I don’t think so, even if he is tall, I am not going to give him the chance to take advantage of me. He looked at me with a confused stare for a minute before climbing in the taxi, scrunched behind the driver’s seat. I climbed in after him and sat down—besides a girl needs her leg room.
“Adonde van?” the taxi drive said to the two of us.
“Enfrente de Saloon de las Estrellas.” I said easily as I leaned back in the seat. Looking over at Oscar he smiled at me, and I smiled at him, grabbing his hand. Our fingers intertwined. It was in that moment that I wished more than anything that this scene wasn’t so failure, when in many ways it was.
The taxi drove down the hill and I could see the house. “Aqui” I said to the driver pointing straight ahead. He nodded as he stopped the taxi and swung open the door. I walked over in front of the house and watched as Oscar paid the man. Was he going to have the taxi driver wait for him? Did he think he was going to sleep here? Hopefully he’ll walk back up the hill and get a taxi because he cannot stay here. The taxi driver pulled away. Oscar was coming towards me with a smile and I smiled nervously back at him, then looking at the cab which was now pulling up the hill. How is he getting home?
We both walked close to the house so that we were in front of my host fathers office which was now closed. Leaning down, he kissed me. I kissed him as well, standing on my tip toes to be able to be lever to him. I pulled him close to me, wrapping my arms around his waist. What am I doing I thought to myself. Pulling away, I looked at the ground
“What happened?” he looked startled.
“I uh, I have to go, my host dad is waiting for me in his room, he’s still awake. I uh need to go inside now.” I started to back away from him, walking backwards toward the door. “I had a lot of fun. Promise me you’ll call me tomorrow”
“Okay I’ll call” he still looked somewhat confused.
Before going inside I stopped with the door cracked and looked at him “Promise?” Enough men have told me they’ll call and they don’t.
“I promise.” I nodded and then stepped inside the door, closing it behind me, but leaving it open a crack to watch as he walked up the hill. I’d hate to be him climbing that hill this late.
Running up stairs into my bedroom, I watched from the window as he went up the hill and disappeared. He was nice; I mean I could really like him. But he won’t call. They never do, which can really be a downer at times. Oh well. Tomorrow there will be someone else, there always is. Walking out of my bed room, I poked my head into my host parent’s bedroom.
“Papa.” I waited nothing. “Papa!” still nothing “Papa!” I said louder this time, when he raised his head. “Estoy aqi”
“Ok Lee, buenas noches.”
“Buenas noches Papa.” I said shutting the door behind me. I wonder if he ever remembers in the morning that I woke him up?
Walking back into my bedroom, I kicked off my shoes and took off my jewelry, placing it on the dresser. I pulled my hair back into a pony tale as I walked into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror while I brushed my teeth, and I didn’t get it. There’s nothing all that special about me that make me all that different from anyone else. I’m just me and honestly I don’t always understand what people see that I don’t.
Back in my bedroom, I undressed myself, pulling on a pair of old pajama shorts and an over sized tee shirt. I was faced with the mirror again, and looked at the reflection of my cell phone on the bedside table. He won’t call. Then looking back at the mirror I looked at myself, it was me at the end of the day, me when I had no one but myself, it was me without the makeup, without my best friends, it was me without anything else.
As always, I began to replay the night in my head. The way I felt with his arm around me, his height, his awkward smile. Kim, Isreal, Fernand, yet another Pina Colada. All of these things were not much different from almost every other night that I’ve gone out since I’ve been here. Except Oscar, man he was really something. I’ve danced with all kinds of guys this year, I’ve hugged, I’ve kissed… But never have I felt the way I felt tonight when we were on the couch. I mean okay, so he wasn’t gorgeous, but I still… there’s just something about him. He wont call though, tomorrow will come and pass and tomorrow night I’ll be dancing with some other Mexican who thinks he’s worthy of my time. This all gets so old so fast. I wish he would actually call unlike all the others.
It was right as I was taking the pillows off my bed that I saw my phone light up, and I picked it up before it had a chance to ring. I didn’t recognize the number. “Bueno.”
“Hey Lee it is Oscar. Were you sleeping?” I can’t believe it, he called, and I must say I’m shocked.
“No. Not yet.” I smiled to myself. He actually called, and he didn’t even wait until tomorrow, ten points for him.
“Well I called because I couldn’t wait until tomorrow; I had to talk to you tonight.” Did he really just say that? Is this even possible that a guy would say that to me? I could feel myself blushing.
“I’m glad you called” I said, turning off my light and climbing into bed, still holding the phone. “I had fun tonight.”
“I did too” he really called, I can’t believe it. I mean a guy I liked actually called me. And he what he just said was so sweet, he couldn’t wait until tomorrow. “Well I’ll let you go but I just wanted to call and tell you good night.”
“Okay, good night.” I hope he calls tomorrow too. “So I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”
“Good night Lee, and sweet dreams” with that he hung up the phone as I disconnected the call.
Even when he knew me as Rachel, he still called

1 comment:

Joe said...

You sure can write...could really relate to the emotions as you depicted them. and thank you for your comment. I think I might be a fan of your page too.