Wednesday, October 31, 2007

White Flags waving

I'm the easy girl... or atleast that's how it use to be. I'd make out with any guy... well almost any guy. You could say I've changed since then. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm still that girl. So here's the sinario. I liked this guy... I thought he could be one of THOSE guys that I had been looking for. You know the one who will wait till he's really gotten to know you, before making a move. He'd wait till some kind of foundation had been laid. I want that. Something thats worth it. Something serious. Well earlier this year I thought Id met a guy who could be that guy but then he made a move the first time we made out and I figured he wasn't the type of guy to go for what I was looking for. But then... he's been hanging out with a friend of mine for the past two weeks and hasn't made a move. I saw him holding her hand when she was drunk in bed tonight and I just wanted to vomit. God dammit! How in the fuck did I end up like this? I haven't been this lonely since I didn't recognize myself in Mexico. Is there really a guy out there who can take me as I am? I'm so tired of just looking around, and I'm tired of just partying. I know that sounds bad. I'm tired of being the only person in my family without a date to stupid functions. I want to be the lucky girl. I already know I'm lucky. But that's not the kind of lucky i really want right now. What do I do?

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