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Monday, October 1, 2007

The world at my fingers


Whenever I'm abroad I always feel like I have the whole world at my fingers, litterally. Like at a whim and a want I could go anywhere or do anything. Maybe it was just being away from any real authority figure. Just the same however, the world was mine. My last night in Paris before my family came, I went out with Matthew and a few other people and we went to this club. We had a great time even though alot of people weren't there. Matthew and I danced to our hearts content and once or twice I even got caught dancing in a manwich, one guy on each thigh. Matthew and I had become fast friends after we met one morning and spent a whole day together, museums, grave yards, the catacomes, the ifel tower. Tom was along with us as well. Then to top off a perfect day we went dancing. Matthew and I had our thing, we would walk arm in arm with each other, I was slightly attracted to him, I'm not sure that atracted is the right word, but maybe drawn, yes there we go, I was drawn to him. He and I just clicked. He said he had a girlfriend back home in California. I didn't exactly buy it, but whatever. But the arm latching was our thing, it was like he was my support. Well, we're all in this dance club in Paris, it was Matthew, and Claire from the states, two guys from London, and some guy from Ireland, I should remember his name but I don't. It had been a full week and there had been no french kissing in France and I was slightly let down. I mean after all isn't that what France is known for? So I had been check out the guy from Ireland, coyly flirting and such. He was from Dublin, which would be my next destination. Well after an amazing masage from Matthew and some dancing, I had to retire. I had stubbed my toe and some purple and very painful bump was forming on my big toe. Matthew was still dancing when I started to chat up the rest of the group I was with. Ireland was standing next to me and Matthew came back. Next thing I know Ireland is kissing at my neck and I look over my shoulder to see everyone looking just as shocked as I felt. Well I never turn down foreign boys... ok I do, but not this one. So he and I go to a more secluded part of the club and continue doing what France is known for. Well everyones ready to leave and guess who finds me. Matthew. He told me he was completely ashamed and our arm locking couldn't mean anything after what I had done. I had never felt so torn down in my life. I'm a hard nut to crack but boy he did it. I felt horrible. Somehow on the way home we got split up, me and a few people took a taxi and Matthew and the rest took the night bus. Well by the time he had got back to the Hostel I was in full apology mode, because everything (whatever that might have been) that we had had and shared was so sacred to me, and he had to know that. So I gave him the letter I wrote, he would read it once I was gone. It wasn't until the next morning at breakfast that he had apologized and said he realized he was a bit harsh on me. I had the whole world at my fingers then. I could have wanted to see where out new found friendship would take us, and follow him to his next destination, but instead I did just as I had planned. I jumped a plane to Dublin, Ireland. And that trip in it's self is a whole other story.

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